I’ve had a sudden surge of specific influence. Or maybe inspiration is a better word to use. I spoke last week about understanding the space we create, where we fit in amongst the people we spend time with. It’s terribly hard, trying to find people you fit with, but most importantly connect with. But what I’m asking now is, what happens when you finally do find someone you make that connection with?
For someone who writes a lot of words I’m an incredibly private person. I usually don’t even dream of sharing the thoughts I’ve thrown onto paper. The majority of the time, my mind is a mess of white nose and writing is a way to, at least, organise some of these thoughts into categories, at a bare minimum. And it can be exhausting. Especially if I cannot find time to throw these thoughts onto the page. So again, this is why it’s so incredibly important to find people who can hear you, even when you don’t know what to say.
I spent Sunday evening in beautiful company. A whirlwind night spent in a drunken haze, stealing time and space. But writing about it, became much much harder than I imagined. I usually never allow myself to appear vulnerable or allow unfiltered parts of my creative energy to slip from my private pages into the hands of another. But as I’m surprisingly and suddenly learning, spontaneous spurts of vulnerability make us feel so alive. You never know how someone may react. I’m always desperate to realise the thoughts circulating through busy minds. There’s such a risk involved, it’s a clear leap of faith with each and every passing day. But… I’m starting to realise, that maybe we all need someone on our team sometimes. No matter how independent we want our minds to be. Learning to take comfort in vulnerability is what I’m currently focusing on this week. Trust through transparency and connection.
Have you experienced a time where you wished you said something, or even did something. A time where you stood with your hands in your pockets whilst connection and opportunity passed you by? As a notorious over-thinker, unfortunately this has happened to me many times. Just this morning actually, my hands were firmly in my pockets when I should have taken the opportunity to affirm connection. Showcasing what perhaps my mind could not get right pre coffee. The good thing however, is understanding the unspoken unknown. Again, finding connection.
I’ve been looking much more into the art of asking, if you’re needing some inspiration to get you started on on that wave length so to speak, Amanda Palmer’s Ted talk is an extremely good place to start. She talks about transparency, and putting your faith in others, that they will metaphorically catch your thoughts and really understand the true rush of allowing yourself to be vulnerable and what happens when you’re finally caught. Something that I was really inspired by actually, and has really helped me try and restore faith in vulnerability. I’m definitely feeling it currently, a sudden surge of half panic half excitement half utter bliss (I was never really that great at maths as you can see).
Some of my writing passed hands today. A massive chunk of personal perspective and incredibly raw and unfiltered thoughts. I’m learning to share pieces of myself. To break down walls, peel layers, and every other transformative cliche you can think of. This is what I’m trying to do. Because I’ve spent far too long being worried or concerned about the thoughts of others, specifically those I shouldn’t be concerned about at all. After all, that’s the whole point of connecting with someone. Discovering pieces that you yourself maybe didn't even know existed. Take the plunge today. Or even tomorrow. Actually especially tomorrow. Show someone something you had only ever intended for a private audience and relish in the blind sense of trust and faith, and take comfort in vulnerability.