So I bet you’re all sitting there nursing some hefty food babies after your week of Christmas turkey sambos and leftover Pavlova. Well, the holiday season ain’t over yet folks, and with New Years coming in hawt, it’s time to shove on your spanx and some deodorant, because there is literally a gazillion things to do in Newy tonight.
I’m usually someone who rates a good old ‘sit on the couch in your undies drinking wine’ type celebration, but even I’m going to be popping on some swanky sandals and heading into town. To help you all out, I’ve made you a little list of some places you can go and get drunk at, but also feel free to invite me to any and all of your more intimate New Years affairs if you feel like spreading some festive love (I’m great at beer pong and would be happy to be on your team).
The Cambridge Hotel NYE Block Party
You’ve probably seen this one pop up quite a bit, but that’s because it’s a bloody ripper of an event that will surely help you party in the New Year accordingly. With the line-up including groovy acts such as Kilter, Bliss n Eso and Touch Sensitive, it’s hard for me to imagine anyone having a terrible time. Tickets are still available, and although they’re relatively pricey, I reckon it’s worth it. Especially because there is at least a SLIGHT chance you might be able to get a New Year’s kiss from a celebrated musician, which is obviously everyone’s dream.
The Gateway Hotel’s Neon NYE Party
There’s truly nothing better than seeing your friend’s face glowing in putrid fluoro paint after you’ve been downing cheap vodka-oranges all night, and lucky for us, the Gateway has decided to fulfil all our drunken dreams be hosting a fun neon party with $5 beverages! There’s two DJ rooms and free entry allll night long, so if any of you are looking for a more affordable night out, I suggest you chuck on your extra-crispy cricket whites and peddle on over to Islington ASAP.
Chase the Sun w/ Diplazar and Wysper at the Stage & Hunter Hotel
Maybe you’re not into the whole hair-flicking, slut-dropping, tongue-munching New Year’s celebration. Maybe you just want to go to a pub, neck a few sevens and listen to some decent music. Well if that’s your cup of tea darl, I reckon you should select the Stag as your venue of choice this weekend. Tickets are fairly priced, and the tunage provided is definitely prime rib, so might as well grab your uncle and reel in 2018 with a head-bang or three.
New Year’s Eve at The Argyle
This is another one of those unz-unz parties, but as my wise old fictitious grandad always says, you can never have too much dubstep in your life. Gotta pay for entry, but the write up says “no theme, no frills, just party & bullsh*t’, which sounds rather fun. Maybe if you’re planning on wearing frills you should head somewhere else though, and I would also like a confirmation on whether literal bull poop will be present at the event, because if so, I’m there tbh.
Sunset Club NYE Party
Customs House holds a special place in my tiny, tiny heart, purely because it reminds me of my first-year-uni-dayz when I thought playing tonsil hockey with multiple boys was super thrilling (I now prefer putting endless amounts of Frosty Fruits in my mouth instead). Apparently there’s going to be fireworks, which is always very exciting, and there’s also cheap beer so that’s definitely a positive. You’ll have to purchase tickets, but that seems to be relatively mandatory for the big events this year so why the heck not.
NYE On the Wharf
Lots and lots and lots of drink specials at this one lads, which is something I like to see. There’s also $10 pizzas and Mexican food so if you’re looking for somewhere to wet your whistle and fill your belly simultaneously, this looks like a decent option. On the music side of things, there’s some DJ’s and an assumingly belter performance by classic rockers Mental As Anything in the car park, as well as a clear view of the fireworks at 9pm. This one sounds bloody good actually; I’ll probably see you there.
There’s HEAPS more happening in town, so just head onto Facebook and have a gander if you feel like extending your options. Here is some last minute advice as we head into this marvellous time of year:
- Drink lots of grog, but also lots of water.
- Don’t be afraid to wear your comfy granny undies, they’re probably going to end up in a bush anyway.
- Following on from this assumption, please be safe when “bumping uglys”
- Make sure you leave at least $5 for a potential post-bender snack; hell has no fury like a hangry drunkard.
- And lastly, be kind to each other, dish out a few hugs! You never know who needs one.
Happy New Years yah Pelicans!